I have had a lot of things on my mind lately. What better way than to rant about it on my blog? Maybe it's not so much of a rant, but that Jordan and I are in a dilemma and I have no clue what to do.
Last year in December, Jordan graduated with his Bachelor's. We were so excited. What an accomplishment and what a feat! We had such high expectations for the future. What was going to happen next??
Well fast forward one year and we are doing everything the same. Minus going to school. We have been job searching for OVER A YEAR. We've probably applied somewhere between 500-1000 jobs in that time. I'm not even kidding. And I'm not thinking in just Idaho either. Some of the states that we've tried are Idaho, Utah, Colorado, California, Texas, North Carolina, Tennessee, Nevada, Nebraska, etc, etc. We've probably heard back from maybe a handful of those jobs, and only a couple of face to face interviews at that. We keep thinking what are we doing wrong? What do we have to do to make things different? Why a whole freakin year? I'm hoping that the Lord is ready to smack us in the face with something, because my patience is wearing very thin. But then I think to myself.. maybe the point is to have patience. Who knows..
I see all my friends moving on with their lives. Moving away, starting new jobs, having babies, doing something. I feel stopped, unmoving. Just sitting, not knowing what we should do. I try to be the best stay at home mommy that I can, but those creeping in feelings of... I should be helping with money, I should get a job, I should be doing more....keep attacking my brain. I mean Satan knows where to hit me where it counts. I've always been goal driven and wanting to accomplish things. Again, stopped. All these feelings stem from not finding a job. We have been living in the same place for almost 5 years and even though it's a very nice place to live, something needs to change.
I guess that is where my rant comes to a close... or some kind of monologue that is leading up to where Jordan and I are now and what we should do.
Jordan has not wanted to go further to pursue his masters. He is not a school kind of man. I told him that if we didn't get a job, we would at least start school. After a lot of research we narrowed it down to two schools. University of Wisconsin for a Integrated Supply Chain Master or Indiana Wesleyan for an MBA. They are both online (so if we do get a job we can still move or do whatever is needed). We applied and waited. IWU send Jordan an e-mail telling him he was accepted, and a letter about a week later. UW sent the acceptance letter and we got UW's and IWU on the same day. Super exciting.
Now comes the drama. Which one do we pick? Do we even really want to do this? I mean they both come out to be about 24 THOUSAND dollars. Is it really that much needed to go so far into debt to do this?
After we get the acceptance letters suddenly Jordan gets a phone call from a company we applied for in Utah. They do a semi-formal phone interview right then and they want to meet him. So last week we drove down to Utah for Jordan to have his interview. On the way down... We get a phone call from a company in American Falls (about 15 mins from Pocatello). They want to set up an interview too. And just this morning Jordan sets up a Skype interview with a company based in Wisconsin but with locations for this certain position in either Utah, Texas, Arizona, Wisconsin or California. On top of that Jordan gets offered the job in Utah (but it is an extreme risky job....)
I am overjoyed with the opportunities. I am overjoyed that something is finally happening for us. But with the happiness comes all the crazy uncertainty. If Jord gets one of these jobs should we move away? Away from our comfort zone, away from Jord's family and my brother's family, away from our whole married existence? Cost of living anywhere else we go will be hugely different for us, and we will have to be a lot more careful with our money.
There are so many options/opportunities/failures that could be awaiting us. I just hope that we can make the right decisions. Lots of prayer right now for us... I hope we get an answer. I hope Jordan gets offered more than one of the jobs so we have a choice, I hope we are strong enough to possibly make a difficult choice.
There lies my dilemma. Any suggestions would be glorious. Hearing how other people got through things always makes it a little easier for me.
Bottom line. I guess we need some good ol' fashion faith.
Melissa, I think you summed it up for your self with your last sentence! Prayer, lots of prayer. I do have to tell you that with our move to Kansas this summer so my hubby can obtain his PHD, I didn't really get an answer that our move was what we were supposed to do. I had to rely heavily on my hubby's answer he received. So just be aware that you may not receive an answer, but an answer will come! I wish you the best of luck (and faith!)!! =)
ReplyDeleteLook at these opportunities coming after all your hard work! I'm sure you guys will be able to figure out what seems like the best path (this has already been said but, prayer!). I'm excited to see what you choose!
ReplyDelete"The question, O me! so sad, recurring--What good amid these, O me, O life?
ReplyDeleteAnswer.
That you are here--that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse."
haha, don't know where that came from but for some reason your post reminded me of dead poets society. im crazy.
anyways....for us its always been that heavenly father just tells us what to do and we do it. thats the easy part, the hard parts when you could go in a bunch of different directions and they all feel ok. in the end, i think heavenly father wants you to use your agency, study the options and choose. if it's terribly wrong then He will let you know :)
but its still stressful. especially where mulah is concerned.